Silencing the Noise of Judgment
How to Stop Living for "What People Say" and Start Living for the Truth
The Jewel in Your Hand: Finding Peace Amidst the Judgments of Others
In an age of constant connectivity, the weight of others’ opinions can feel crushing. We often find our moods, our decisions, and even our self-worth fluctuating based on the praise or criticism of those around us. This fear of judgment is not a modern phenomenon; it is a timeless human struggle that can paralyze us, causing us to stray from the path of truth merely to escape the wagging tongues of society.
However, the school of the Ahl al-Bayt (AS) offers a profound psychological and spiritual remedy to this anxiety—a shift in perspective that anchors peace not in the noise of the crowd, but in the reality of the soul.
The Tears of Yunus
The dilemma is beautifully illustrated in a narration recorded in Rijal al-Kashshi. One day, Yunus ibn Abd al-Rahman, a prominent and loyal companion of Imam Ali al-Ridha (AS), came to the Imam with tears streaming down his face.
Yunus was not crying over a worldly loss or physical pain; he was heartbroken by social alienation. Despite his efforts to defend the faith and serve the truth, he was being met with harsh words and unfair judgments from his own community. In his anguish, he lamented to the Imam,
“My Master, may I be sacrificed for you! I defend this faith, but this is how my companions treat me!”
He was essentially asking: How can I keep going when the very people I am trying to serve are attacking me?
The Metric of Reality
Imam Ridha (AS) did not validate Yunus’s need for social approval. Instead, he redirected Yunus’s focus to the only relationship that matters. The Imam asked:
“O Yunus! When your Imam is pleased with you, what harm can people’s words do to you?”
This rhetorical question strikes at the root of social anxiety. If the representative of Allah is satisfied with your conduct, the dissatisfaction of the creation becomes irrelevant.
The Imam then offered a powerful metaphor to silence the noise of public opinion forever:
“O Yunus! If you held a precious jewel in your right hand and people said it was a stone, would that harm you? Or if you held a stone in your hand and people said it was a jewel, would that benefit you?”
Yunus replied, “No.”
The Imam concluded: “The same is true with regard to you. As long as you are on the right path and your Imam is pleased with you, people’s words can do no harm to you.”
The Stone and the Jewel: A Lesson in Authenticity
This analogy from Imam Ridha (AS) teaches us that reality is independent of perception.
If you possess the “jewel” of truth and faith, the world calling it a “stone” does not decrease its value.
Conversely, if a person is empty inside (holding a “stone”), the praise of the world (calling it a “jewel”) adds no actual value to their soul.
This teaching echoes the wisdom of the Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (AS), who famously said:
“Do not feel lonely on the path of truth because of the fewness of those who walk on it.” (Nahj al-Balagha, Sermon 201)
The “Blame of the Blamer”
The Holy Quran describes the true believers as those who possess a distinct fortitude against social pressure. Allah (SWT) says:
“...[They are] fighting in the way of Allah and not fearing the blame of the critic...”
(Surah Al-Ma’idah, Chapter 5, The Table Spread, Verse 54)
This quality is crucial because the fear of blame is often what drives people to compromise their values. As the images you shared noted, people often avoid righteous actions solely because they are afraid of what “people will say.”
A Consistent Teaching from the Household
The advice given to Yunus is not an isolated incident. There is a strikingly similar instruction from Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (AS) to his companion Jabir al-Ju’fi, which serves as a practical guide for testing one’s own spiritual maturity.
Imam Baqir (AS) told Jabir:
“Know, O Jabir, that you will not be a friend of ours until you become such that if all the people of your town gather and say, ‘You are a bad man,’ it would not grieve you; and if they all say, ‘You are a good man,’ it would not please you. Instead, offer yourself to the Book of Allah...” (Tuhaf al-Uqul)
This is the standard of the Ahl al-Bayt. It is not about being anti-social or arrogant; it is about being autonomous. It is about ensuring that your emotional stability is governed by your alignment with Allah’s will, not the fluctuating moods of society.
Practical Advice: Wisdom in Speech
It is also worth noting that in the narration of Yunus, Imam Ridha (AS) adds a piece of practical advice on why these conflicts often arise. He tells Yunus:
“Speak to people about the things they can understand and don’t tell them the things that are beyond their comprehension.”
Sometimes, the judgment we face comes because we are trying to force wisdom upon those who are not ready for it. The Ahl al-Bayt (AS) teach us emotional intelligence—to manage our own expectations of others. We should not expect validation from those who cannot comprehend our path.
Conclusion
The solution to the “disease of people-pleasing” lies in the hands of Yunus. We must look at what we are holding. If we are holding the jewel of connection with Allah and the Ahl al-Bayt, the noise of the world is nothing but sound and fury.
As Imam Ali (AS) said in a profound supplication:
“O Allah! It is sufficient for my honour that I am Your servant, and it is sufficient for my pride that You are my Lord.”
When you have the Lord, you do not need the applause of the servants.