Tears Of A Believer

When men cry: Tears, Compassion and Faith.

Gazza’s tears are frequently remembered as one of the most poignant and historic moments in English football history. They are often credited with humanising footballers by revealing their raw passion and heartbreak, while transforming Paul Gascoigne into a cult hero in the UK.

Part of what made the moment so memorable was that it challenged prevailing social expectations about masculinity. Millions witnessed a grown man openly expressing grief on one of the world’s biggest sporting stages, at a time when such displays of emotion were often discouraged.

For many cultural reasons in the West, the sight of a man shedding tears was often considered a sign of weakness or a lack of masculinity. You may have heard the expression “keeping a stiff upper lip.” It was regarded as gentlemanly to maintain one’s composure and conceal outward displays of emotion.

However, when we reflect on the nature of tears and why they are shed, we can recognise the great benefits that come from weeping.

In Islam, mourning is understood as a holistic emotional and spiritual response. The hadith permit weeping and natural grief, provided that it remains within the bounds of faith, avoids excessive wailing, and does not question Allah’s decree. Tafsir al-Mizan emphasises that grief is an intrinsic part of human compassion, even for the prophets.

It is narrated that when the Prophet’s son took his last breath, the Prophet held him while tears flowed from his eyes. One of his companions expressed surprise, having understood that the Prophet had discouraged excessive displays of grief. The Prophet affirmed that his tears were “signs of tenderness and mercy” and then uttered what became a foundational ethical and spiritual teaching in the Islamic tradition: “He who is not merciful will not be shown mercy.”

The expression of grief, as a testament to one’s love and an abiding awareness of the finitude of human life, can bring a person closer to the Mercy (rahma) of God.

Some of the benefits of mourning and weeping include:

Spiritual cleansing

Imam Ali taught that weeping out of fear of Allah and love for His righteous guides prevents the heart from becoming hardened. It brings noor (divine light) to the soul and acts as both a psychological and spiritual cleanser, helping to protect a person from repeating past sins.

Emotional healing and softening of the heart

Mourning allows a person to acknowledge loss rather than suppress it. Grief that is expressed in a healthy way can help prevent emotional numbness and cultivate greater compassion for the suffering of others. In Islamic teachings, a soft heart is a sign of spiritual health. Tears remind us of our dependence upon Allah, our shared human vulnerability, and the transient nature of this world. Through mourning, a believer can emerge with greater empathy, humility, and appreciation for the blessings that remain.

For Shia Muslims, weeping for the Prophet’s family (Ahlul Bayt) is considered a profound act of worship, spiritual purification, and solidarity with those who stood against oppression.

So, the next time you shed a tear for God, thank Him for that precious gift: the ability to cry, and for the acceptance and encouragement of weeping within your faith. We live in a time when few people shed tears for others. Many men still feel embarrassed to cry in front of those around them. Let us not become uncomfortable with something that has been recommended for the benefit of our souls and exemplified by the best of God’s creation.